The following post was written 12/21/07 @2:01am. Saved as a draft and failed to post until now. Oops!
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Last year.
2 years ago.
3 years ago.
For various reasons New Years Eve has not been such a fun experience for me over the recent years. Which is why part of me is really dreading the events of this evening to come. I don’t particularly like holidays, and this one is no exception.
Regardless of this negative attitude toward this particular holiday, it is always interesting to take a look back and see where I was this time last year, the year before, and so on. I have experienced many joys that I wished would never end, and sorrows that felt like they would never end. Two years ago at this time I was disappointed. This time last year I was sad and frustrated, but also very happy. This year I just don’t know. I am neither sad nor happy. I am at some sort of in between, and I don’t like it. But this year will quickly pass, and I can only pray and hope that New Years Eve this coming year will be one to remember for its joys, not its sorrows.
I know I probably sound like I am being some sort of grouch, which I probably am, but I assure you that I am writing not to complain, but to share a little but about what God is teaching me through all of this.
This time of year, many suppressed emotions, memories, etc., decide to resurface, and I really hate it.
Though I am strongly disliking this time I am going through, I am noticing that God is using this time to remind me there is not one need that I have ever had that he has not met. In fact, he has satisfied my greatest need of all by the gift of his Son. So why do I worry? Why do I stress out? Why do I get frustrated?
Clearly I am not seeking the Lord and remembering what was done for me on the cross. I am also not remembering the many blessings he pours out to me daily. I am so selfish! The Lord has clearly carried me through some tough times, and just as it has done in the past, new years eve will quickly pass and life will move on. I just pray that I learn to run hard after him and always remember the greatest gift of all – the gift of His Son.
